A HamHam Mass Murder
by BurningWaters
Summary: Ham-hams should die. What did a friend and I do? We killed them. PG-13 for bloody scenes. And lots of ham-ham bashing. Plus flames just amuse us no matter what you say!


This story started on February 25, 2003 on MSN messenger. I, Jade, put on a sn to annoy a friend who had his sn as "Hamtaro is my best friend." People were amused by my sn and answered to it readily. If you flame, it only serves to amuse us and give us a good laugh. People are funny when they try to flame. ^^  
  
Kuma *sees Jade sn on MSN: "Ham-hams should die a horrible death"*says:  
yes! yes they should!  
  
Jade says:  
hehehe yay! I'm not the only one who thinks that  
  
Kuma says:  
Ham hams should buuurn  
  
Jade says:  
mh-hm  
  
Kuma says:  
before that they should have a spike drive through their skull and a million needles pricked into their very HEARTS! MUAHAHAHA  
  
Jade says:  
I totally agree  
  
Kuma says:  
that would be such a fun fanfic to write...  
  
Jade says:  
oooh, maybe it's a wise choice....  
  
Kuma says:  
yes....  
  
Jade says:  
maybe we can team up and write the death of the hamhams! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Jade says:  
XD  
  
Kuma says:  
YES!  
  
Kuma says:  
oh, such a good idea!  
  
Jade says:  
so now what?   
  
Kuma says:  
should we write it?  
  
Jade says:  
ok, sure, who wants to start?  
  
Kuma says:  
me!  
  
Kuma says:  
XD  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Thus, started the story of "A Death of a ham-ham."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: Hamtaro isn't ours. They are just there for us to mutilate.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Title: The Ham-ham Mass Murder  
  
Authors: Buringwaters (Jade) and Kumagorou (Kuma)  
  
One day all the ham hams were sitting peacefully outside. It was another regular, happy day, which was full of...happiness. The ham-ham continued their happiness of singing and eating sunflowers when the sky darkened and it started to thunder. "Oh look at that!" a ham ham pointed out stupidly, "there's water falling from the big puffy clouds! Heehee!"   
  
Suddenly the ham ham was crushed by a huge flying boulder because of its over-use of sappiness. The boulder rolled away and dramatic music play. In the distance, the ham-ham's can see two silhouette Two figures stood there laughing, "Bwahahahahahhaha!!" "Ham-ham's," one said, "you shall now die a horrible DEATH!"  
  
"Death!" One of the littler ham ham's squeaked, "There's no such thing as-ACK"   
  
The Ham Ham suddenly was shot through the heart...how sad. The other ham-ham gathered around his fallen comrade all sad. They all cried and got over it quickly. The remaining ones turned to Kuma and Jade. They bared their fangs and together in their pathetic squeaky voice, they yelled (which wasn't very loud, mind you), "You shall feel the wrath of the ham-ham's, you'll regret the day you every head of the name of ham-hams!!"   
  
Kuma then proved them wrong by taking out a bazooka and splattering half of the little ham hams. "Okees Jade, have fun!" Kuma then handed a box of miscellaneous items to Jade. Jade takes the box and pulls out a huge hammer. SQUIIIISH! "oopies, lookie what I did, I squash a couple ham-hams."   
  
Too bad.....  
  
"Your turn!" Kuma laughs maniacally as she retrieves a pencil from the box and erases the hamster foes. "Oh, nice one," Jade commends, "My turn! ^^" She grabbed a chainsaw that mysteriously appeared next to her and was already warmed up. She looked around for a bit before finding her target, "DIE!"   
  
Needless to say, the poor ham-ham wasn't a happy camper....neither was the grass.   
  
That made 20 remaining ham hams, or "Ten to kill each!" as Kuma put it. Kuma whipped out some salsa, dipped four ham ham's in and ate a delicious ham ham lunch. Jade reaches down and grabs a couple ham-ham. She looked at the 3 unlucky one in her hand. Then at the blender in the box of miscellaneous items.   
  
"Yay!" She took out the blender and blended some ham-ham juice. Jade also took out two cups, "Juice?" She offered Kuma a cup and poured some for herself. "Thankies Jade!" Kuma cried happily, accepting the cup. Then she heated it up in a microwave, and poured it on the other ham hams.   
  
Apparently, when juiced and heated up, Ham hams turn into acid! Six more bit the dust...or rather melted into it....  
  
Jade took a sip of ham-ham juice and made a face. "ewww...." Then an idea came to her. She poured the remaining liquid of ham-ham in a container and threw in 3 more ham-ham, closing the lid after them. "Swim, you devils, swim!"   
  
Six down, four to go.   
  
Kuma took out a paintball gun and began paintballing two ham hams endlessly. Since they had such a fragile bone structure they soon turned to a gooey, bloody, paintbally mess. Jade set the containers of chocking/drowning ham-ham next to her. "Hmm....what to do, what to do..."   
  
She grabbed two ham-ham and a box of needles. Slowly, she inserts the needles through one ham-ham and into the other. They tried to resist but the pain got too much to them. They passed out and started to bleed a bloody and painful and slow death. Kuma stood by, laughing   
  
"I got two more ham-ham's to kill, how bout you?" Jade asked Kuma.   
  
Kuma stepped on two ham hams and sighed, "I'm all out."   
  
"Oh, mh-hm, mh-hm...." Jade said as she caught the two remaining ham-ham's. "I'm just gonna do this the traditional way," she said as she took out a knife and just decapitate them. "Hoorah!! No more ham-hams!"  
  
And that ended the evil reign of the evil hamster of doom.   
  
The end. 


End file.
